


Snag in the Net

by MooseFeels



Series: Turn Me On [7]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Miscarriage, Stillbirth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-23
Updated: 2013-07-24
Packaged: 2017-12-21 03:27:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/895233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MooseFeels/pseuds/MooseFeels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the most painful thing they'll ever do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

There's blood. There's so much blood. 

 

The ambulance stops in front of the hospital and everyone sprints out and Castiel goes behind the swinging double doors and Dead waits.

 

He waits and waits and waits. He paces, he sits, he stands. He opens and closes his phone. He checks and shuns clocks. He stops nurses in the hall and says nothing.  Just looks at them. Desperate. 

 

He's sitting when the chair next to him creaks and a familiar voice says, "We couldn't save it."

 

Dean looks up and it's the nurse from last time. He's sweating. He looks tired. His name badge reads "Gabriel."

 

Dean looks up at him, struck dumb by the words. 

 

"Too early. Had a slew of physical problems. Even if it...even if it had waited, it wouldn't have made it," he continues. "Thought you should know before Balthazar comes in."

 

Dean just looks at him, horribly broken. 

 

He can't figure out if he should thank him or not.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean sits at the bed.

He can’t touch Castiel. He goes to hold his thin, pale hand, and every time, it’s like his body jerks back. He can’t handle it- he can’t even begin to handle it.

He just feels hollow.

He can’t speak, either.

It’s like the words inside of him were a well, and the well has dried- there is a desert where there once was a grassy plain.

He’s opened and closed his phone dozens of times, just staring at Sam’s phones number. At the pictures of Baby Mary.

He lets his forehead rest on the edge of the bed and he closes his eyes against the cool sheets.

It’s like the world has lost color.

It’s also lost scent.

“It was a girl.”

It’s whispered. Panted. Said with tremendous effort. A burdened, lift into the air.

Dean looks up at Castiel.

He’s pale, and his eyes are watery and bloodshot and tired. His head is facing away from Dean, looking out the window. Looking away. Pale and scentless and distant and empty.

Everything about this is empty.

Dean looks up at the ceiling, and he still can’t- he still can’t put out his hand and just touch.

 _Just touch him, you dumb sack of shit_ , he thinks. _Just fucking touch him. You love him. Fucking touch him._

They sit silent in the room until the sun goes down and Gabriel the nurse drags Dean out.

 


	3. Chapter 3

The next thing Castiel says to him is, “Dean, I still love you, but I don’t think I can move in right now.”

It’s been four days since they came into the hospital, since they stood in the mirror, since they moved into the house. Sam has come and gone, his own family needing him desperately. It’s been four days of silence between them, and Dean’s not yet sure he can speak.

He nods.

“I’ll probably stay in the county. I won’t change my phone number. But I need- Dean, I can’t live there right now. I don’t know if I can live there ever again,” he continues.

 _Tell him it’s not his fault, you son of a bitch,_ Dean thinks.  _You weren’t here. You weren’t here for the pregnancy and it failed, asshole, it failed because of you. Tell him_.

_Dean just nods._

Tell him you love him, you idiot.

Castiel looks at him, this empty, scentless man. He looks worn and beaten. He looks like he’s surrendered, utterly.

“I’m leaving the hospital today,” he says. “I love you.”

Dean looks at him a little longer.

He stands up, he leans forward, he kisses Castiel on the forehead.

He walks out of the hospital to mourn.


End file.
